Dear employees:

As the ceo of this organization, I have resigned myself to the fact that Barack Obama is our president and that our taxes and government fees will increase in a BIG way. To compensate for these increases, our prices would have to increase by about 10%. Since we cannot increaseour prices right now due to the dismal state of the economy i have no choice but to lay off six employees instead. This has really been bothering me since i believe we are family here and i didnt know where to even begin choosing who goes and who stays. So, this is what ive done...i walked through our parking lot and found six 'obama' bumper stickers on our employees' cars and have decided these folks will be the ones to go. I cant think of a more fair way to approach this problem. They voted for change, and i gave it to them.

I will see the rest of you at the annual company picnic.