Unknown author.

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There was a break between games at one tournament. An umpire was sitting in the stands pretty much by himself, relaxing and reading a book. A team coach, also between games, came and sat down a few feet away.

After a few minutes the coach say’s “Let’s talk, it will make the time pass faster”. The umpire looks up and say’s “What would you like to discuss?” The coach replies “How about the pitching regulations”.

The umpire says, "OK, that could make for
some pretty interesting conversation. But let me
ask you a question first:

A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same
Stuff. However the deer excretes pellets; the cow,
big patties; and the horse, clumps of dried
grass. Why is that?"

The coach say’s, "I don't know."

The umpire then says, "Oh? Well then, do you really think you're qualified to discuss the pitching regulations when YOU DON’T KNOW CRAP?"