The Dust of My Father's Memory

[Natural Lefty]

Very few of you know this, but my father passed away this April 3. He and I had been great fishing buddies, until he stopped fishing in recent years, and his passing is one of the reasons for my lack of posting recently.

Two days ago, I went to my parents' house in Riverside, and yesterday, I wrote this regarding my trip to the garage to see my father's fishing equipment.

The Dust of My Father's Memory

Yesterday, Eunice and I went to my parents' house to celebrate my mother's birthday, which is Tuesday. Eunice brought some of our catch from Friday's fishing trip plus some veggies from our yard, to cook for dinner. After seeing Eunice direct the cooking and dinner process in her usual fashion, and being glad that my mother liked her freshly caught Channel Catfish and Marybel the health care worker liked her fresh Redear Sunfish, we all sat at the dinner table and talked for quite a while.

Amid another distressing family revelation and assorted other topics which slid in and out of my consciousness, the topic of my father's fishing equipment was mentioned. At that point, I felt I had to take a look, and bring some of this memory home with me. I went to the garage, alone, turned on the light, and saw the garage looking uncsutomarily sparse in belongings. There was a familiarity to the tackle boxes and creels on the right side of the room, though, and the closet stuffed with fishing poles on the left. The old equipment seemed to call to me, as though my father was directing me -- first, to the fishing poles. I found several poles which looked as though they had barely been used, nicely set up with line-loaded reels, plus weights and swivels on the end of the lines. There were also two dusty old fly rods, though, in the back of the closet. There was even one of those Zebco childrens' rods with a closed faced reel. When I opened up the reel, there was no line on it. The thing was kept there solely as a momento. I even saw what appeared to be a piece of a broken rod in the closet, surely another bitterwseet momento.

I started checking the reels to see if I could reverse the handles to the other side so I could fish left-handed with them. Two of them were easy transformations, another required a screwdriver to switch, and a fourth, seemed stuck in place even when pressure was applied to it via a wrench. All the while, I could feel my father's approval of my behavior, memories and sentiments; he seemed to be present in the room with me, hovering nearby and enjoying the work of his natural lefty fishing partner son. Having prepared three fishing poles, with ready reels, I turned my attention to the other equipment. There were what appeared to be 3 tackle boxes, but upon opening, two had tools for home use, and only the oldest, familar old blue metal tackle box, with a bit of rust, had fishing equipment inside. However, as with me, my father usually used creels instead of tackle boxes, and I found two creels full of fishing equipment nearby. My bittersweet feeling intensified as I noticed the fishing license pinned to one of the creels. It was from 2007 and was apparently my father's final one. I half wanted to cry, and half wanted to smile. I knew that my father understood.

That's the thing about life in practice; it's so complicated even when things go well, and even when first principles seem clear and simple. My emotions are just as complex. I was reminded of how just on Friday, my highly successful fishing trip with Eunice ended in the laughter of comedic errors, as so often happens in life when we are sensitive to its details. We were using three fishing poles, but one was nearly out of line (but still catching fish that were swarming nearby, using little lures). That one stopped working when Eunice tried to reel it in but the reel jammed and wouldn't budge. Then, as it became dark, the other two lines became tangled together in the aftermath of catching a good size fish, so I had to cut one. Finally, after casting the remaining line out, a tangle ensued, and we couldn't see well enough in the twilight to untangle it. I guess someone was telling us that it was time to go home, so we headed back to the car, laughing.

Now, standing in the garage, I could sense the settling dust of my father's memory surrounding me, enveloping me in its love. Somehow, I knew that I was meant to have this fishing equipment, and all of the luck and blessings that it would bring. I took the 3 fishing poles and the 2 creels to the car, and left the rest -- for a while at least -- to stay in there cozy garage home in the residual energy of my father's memory. I have a feeling my father will be watching over me; after all, I am sure he isn't destined to spend the rest of eternity in the settling dust of his garage.

[Rastavyb]

Sorry to hear of your father's passing. My Grandfather was my fishing buddy and I believe he is always by my side, no matter where I'm fishing. fishing creates life long bonds. God bless

[old pudd fisher]

Thanks for all those nice words cuz I have been thinking about my dad a lot, this Friday it will be one year for me. They both are gone but memories last forever. Take care.

[Rastavyb]

So true. Fishing is the one thing, that always reminds me of him, as I am returned to the days of my youth, fishing with him, on the bank of a lake somewhere. Have a great day.

[woodchucker]

Great words..makes me think of my Father.
Thank you

[billy b]

My dad was a believer ... so I am believing ... once again ... we'll get to troll "one more time around the lake" as we used to say. I still remember him telling me to shhh when he found a $20 on the floor at Jack's waffle shop (when the cash register was next to the sporting goods on the south side ... and I believe the café was about half the size (but I'm not sure).

Great memories to us all!

[catfishkid1]

Sorry for your loss!!,,,,,,,,,great memories will always keep you two together.
It's great you are able to continue to use the same poles that he so cherished.
Make sure you keep them in good shape, as you may be able to teach your little ones to fish a generation of fisherman/women.

Thanks for the story,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,!!

[denthedad59]

The memories and the bonding experience. When I was a kid my dad worked two jobs...when he wasn't working he was sleeping, he ending up dying when I was only 9 years old. My mom used to take me fishing. She wasn't very good at it but she knew I liked going so off we went...many times too....we did catch fish and I remember those times warmly. I consider myself a lucky man. I have a daughter who works and goes to college and yet still finds time to go fishing with the old man every couple of weeks. She's not a hardcore angler and I usually end up helping her during our outings but I'm telling ya. It's wonderful time spent with my kid...just me and her. The moral of the story...Dad's & Mom's take your kids fishing...it's memories they'll have forever.

[Natural Lefty]

Hello everyone. I am back but need to go to JCPenney soon.

Thank you Rastavyb, Old Pudd Fisher, Woodchucker, billy b, Catfishkid1, and denthedad59.

I knew that fisherpeople on this site could relate to this, which I first posted on Facebook.

I have always been a believer in "one last cast" too, billy b. LOL I do think the new equipment will bring good karma, too.

denthedad59, fishing with my wife is kind of the same way. I help her out a lot, and she ends up outfishing me. :)

[casting call]

I had to stop reading halfway through to regain my composure. That was a really nice writeup. Sorry for your loss.

[Natural Lefty]

That's a great compliment, Castingcall, since what I wrote affected you much as it affected me. I almost lost my composure after writing this, actually.

All 3 of us brothers spoke at my father's memorial, and my brother Bruce lost his composure. I did not, but my father wrote a lot of published poetry, and I read one that I liked, but avoided my favorite one because I didn't think I could read it without losing my composure.

[casting call]

That's a great compliment, Castingcall, since what I wrote affected you much as it affected me. I almost lost my composure after writing this, actually.

All 3 of us brothers spoke at my father's memorial, and my brother Bruce lost his composure. I did not, but my father wrote a lot of published poetry, and I read one that I liked, but avoided my favorite one because I didn't think I could read it without losing my composure.

I know what you mean. I sent my stepdad a nice Easter Card when he was battling pancreatic cancer. He had mentioned to me how much he liked the card. I didnt know exactly how much it meant to him until after he passed away that following October. My mom was going through his diary, and he had many entries in it where he said he was always inspired every night when he read that card, brought him to tears each time.

My sister spoke at his memorial, she read the card outloud, and i pretty much lost it.

But what you wrote, took me back to when after he passed away. We were at my moms house packing everything because she was moving to a smaller house, I was in the garage sorting out his tools, work boots, and just kept thinking back to how he liked to build things.

[The Fishing Queen]

Robert, I'm sorry learn that you lost your father! Thanks for sharing your thoughts and the story. Your words touched my heart and it brought tears to my eyes...... We sometimes wonder if we did our best to show our love to our family. And those who are gone, can they hear us pray for them or not? But I have to say that I'm sure that they can hear us and our prayers.

I had an experience that I'd like to share with you. It was about my dear father-in-law. He was a very good man. He always loved me and treated me like his own daughter. We were very close. He came to visit us two or three times a week. My husband and I always invited him to go everywhere with us on the weekends. He had a stroke a few months before he passed away. One Sunday after he had spent all day with us and our children at Santa Monica Beach, he went to bed at night and never woke up again. He passed away in his peaceful sleep. But I couldn't take the truth of losing him in such a sudden way. I had countless sleepless nights. I was depressed and lost a lot of weight in a month. A friend give me a book to read: "Life after Life" written by Raymond Moody. After I read it, I learned that there is a life after a person’s death - it's the spirit. But I was not willing to believe it. I am a person will not believe anything without to wittiness the truth.....

A couple of years later, we visited Idyllwild and walked around town and shopped. My husband saw a sign hanging in the window of a shop that said 'Physic Readings'. He told me that I should go give it a try just for fun. So I did. I went into the reading room and asked the lady if she had ever made any connections to people who had passed away. She said yes and she told me that she saw some spirits were there with me and their energies were strong. But, she wasn't sure if the person that I liked to contact was there or not. I asked her to describe what they looked like. She identified an older, petite woman with a round face and her hair tied into a bun. She was wearing a two piece black outfit. She told the physic reader that she was my grandmother and also my guardian. She also said that there were two men with me and they both were wearing glasses. One said he was my uncle, the other said he is my dad. I know the older woman could be my mom's mother, who had passed away when I was little girl. She only wore black, or dark colored clothes as mourning for my grandfather...... My uncle just passed away a few months before the reading. But my father is alive even now. She described the other man. She said he won't sit still, but kept wondering in and out of the room. It sounded just like my father- in-law. So I asked her if the man had any words to say to me. She said: "he told me that he is very proud of his boy."..... I wasn't sure which boy that he was talking about - his boy (my husband) or my boy (his grandson. He passed away when my son was just 3 months old). I guessed he might be my father-in-law as I've always thought of him as dad. But I still doubted her words and wouldn't believe until I had more proof. I ask her if he remembered anything that was important to him or his family. She told me: "he said he had a motor boat". I had heard from my husband that they used to own a boat. They loved to fish and cruise in the Long Island Sound and had so much fun and great memories of it...... I still thought that all of what she had said could be just a lucky match. So I asked: "if this man is my father-in- law, can he tell you something else that can prove to me his identity?" She paused for a second, looked and said: "he just smiled and raised up his left hand to me, is he left handed?". I bust into tears after her words. Yes, 100%, he is my father-in-law without any doubt. He was the only left handed person in our family...... I was very grateful to the lady and I cried and said that I had always felt terrible that we had never had any chance to say "good bye" to him because of his sudden death. The lady told me that dad knows that and that's why he was there to tell me that he is ok..... When I got out of the building, I was very emotional. I was shaking all over as I was walking towards my husband and the children. I could not believe what I had experienced. I felt a relief from the pain and the depression. Because I know, a life might be gone, but what disappeared was just a body. The spirit of a person still lives on. Our loved ones on the other side will be with us, watch over us and care for us even if we can’t see them. They are with us every day and they will continue to live in our memories forever.

Robert, if you can feel that your father was there with you, he must have been. You can't see him but you can sense his energy around you. He must want to make sure you are ok... Very nicely written story, thanks for sharing it with us! And please take care of yourself and stay well!

Alice

[murrieta angler]

My condolences to you and all your family.
It's personal stories like this that makes you sit back and think of loved ones.
THANK YOU,
Robert
<><

[ben0606]

Prayers to you and your family from mine. I lost my dad 22 months ago. 2 months before he passed, he came to visit me stoked to go bass fish in my bass boat. He gave up bass fishing so I could catch bluegills as a kid to keep me interested in fishing. It was great to take him to dvl and see the amazing smiles he had catching bass again. Just typing this is hard as the memories are rushing back. Thank you for sharing and again thoughts and prayers to you and your family.

[Natural Lefty]

Alice, I am the same way in that I am scientifically minded, but I believe in a spiritual presence in the Universe. I heard of Dr. Moody's research a long time ago, in fact; also, research which shows for instance that prayer, of any type, works to an extent (not that people get specific wishes granted, but people praying for them helps them heal better even when they don't know that anybody is praying for them).

I did feel the presence of my father's energy there. I know that is easy to discount and could be a self-delusion, but the energy seemed there to me and I don't think I was simply imagining it. I had an experience before with my 6 year old niece after she drowned years ago, when she came to me in my sleep, as well. I used to watch the John Edward show sometimes when he was on television, or James Van Praagh, both of whom are psychics who say that they contact spirits of dead people, and I must say they both seem impressive, similar to what you describe in your encounter with a psychic. So, now I know that your father in law was left-handed. My two brothers and I are all left-handed, and I have a cousin who is left -handed and a niece who is at least partially left-handed, so there are several lefties in my family. I recently took part in a genetics study which my geneticist eldest brother encouraged me to do, and handedness is one of the topics that they are looking for genetic links to. It seems my family is a good one to study for that, although that is off topic here. I also found out almost shockingly that my brother and I are part Black, but only about 0.5% which is one part of one chromosome. I also found out that my ancestry, even though I am nominally an "anglo" from both parents, includes Hungarian, German, French, Scandanavian, and Jewish among other things, and is only slightly over 50% British. These genetics tests are very interesting, but one must be prepared for unsettling surprises. The tests also tell about health risks, are lack of risks. Both of my brothers and mom are doing the genetics test too, but my father obviously cannot anymore.

I keep on thinking I am through with the stories and posts about my father, but they keep coming up, Murrieta Angler, so I am progressing with the grief process and adjustment to my father' passing, but it's not all at once.

Thanks, Alice and "other" Robert

[Natural Lefty]

That's funny Ben0606; I used to fish for Bluegills, Crappie, Redear, whatever panfish, while my dad fished for Bass or Trout most of the time, but sometimes, he would join me in fishing for panfish, especially when I was cranking them in and the bigger species weren't cooperating. I became pretty proficient at catching fish, especially panfish, on our trips, so my dad would often brag about how good I was at "catching," and how I would usually outfish everybody else, even older people. He might have been a bit too effusive in his praise of my fishing skills, but it was gratifying.

[trail blazer]

I must say, This read caught me off guard .

Lost both my mom and dad over the last few yrs and you,v made me think again,,.GREAT READ!.

Thank you for sharing your experience with us.

TRAIL BLAZER

[Joshua]

Well written. You mentioned that your dad wrote peotry. It is obvious that your dad passed along the abilty to craft words as well as a passion for fishing. Writing these things are theraputic. I recently spoke at a Memorial for a close family friend. I played football for him and coached with him for 13 years. I spent 3 weeks writing the eulogy. It was difficult and very emotional. With love comes great pain. I was billy bad-A -s-s. I wouldnt shed a tear. After having a daughter, it softened me. Men dont cry, my a-S-s. Emotionally empty people dont cry.
I totally believe that the spirits of our loved ones are around us just as you experienced in your parent's garage. Animals and children are more likely to feel them. I have 2 young sons. I have watched them many times staring at things I can't see. They react as though someone is playing with them. I wish I knew who it was.

[DEVOREFLYER]

Natural lefty you bring back memories of my own fathers passing over 17 years ago. My father also left me a number of fishing rods, reels and equipment and you made me go and dig them out for another look. I think I will invest and have the pair of bamboo fly rods refurbished and use them in the future. Those rods deserve better than to sit and collect dust in his memory.

My first experience in serious fishing with my father was a trip to the Sierra’s over 50 years ago. It was a trip over a long weekend with a long hike into the high country where I had altitude sickness and we had to come back down to a lower level. I look back with amazement at how easy my father made it look backpacking all that gear and catching those native trout. I have one of the trophy Cut throat trout mounts that he had caught and I want to also have it refurbished.

On my father’s passing he was cremated as he wished and for over 8 months I pondered what to do with his ashes. As summer turned to fall it became perfectly clear that the family needed to make a trip back to the Sierra’s that he loved and to place his ashes in his favorite trout stream. It was a perfect Indian summer day when we placed his ashes in the stream with the Aspens in full fall color and the sky a bright blue above. A few words were spoken and then my wife, youngest son and myself each placed a portion of the ashes into the stream.

Each fall as I have gone to the Sierras to fish for trout I have made a stop at the creek to honor my father and to place a line in the water. For whatever reason I have yet to fail to catch a trout on the first cast, I only catch and release that one trout at that spot. While I am not one to be superstitious I can’t help but feel his spirit made possible that first trout and not skill or luck.

Thank you for telling your wonderful story and bringing back memories to those of us that have also lost a fishing best friend. Thank you.

[GhettoBasster]

Great post in your father's memory. He would have been touched and proud. I hope my kid will remember me as fondly as you remember you dad.

[DarkShadow]

Great post.

Our parents can often be mentors, companions, friends....we lose sight of this sometimes. You've inspired me to go tell my father how special he is in my life, and I want to take him out fishing like the old days, when he'd set up his PowerBait for trout, and I'd traverse the shorelines looking for other species to catch. I'd always run back to him and let him know what I'd caught.

[seal]

Lost Mom about a month ago, I keep wanting the memories of the end of life to be over, I would love to retain only all the good memories of my healthy Mom. I'm kinda being haunted by the few days of hospice care I had with her and the pain and agony I couldn't fix.

Not sure how to do this other than hopefully do what you are doing and focusing on the good memories, thanks for your post.

[Natural Lefty]

The last couple of years were kind of haunting for me, Seal, as my father became very invalid. He had 24/7 care in his home for the last year or so, which was extremely expensive. My mother, who is fairly healthy, wants someone there 24 hours per day, too, so the expense has not diminished that much. The head of the health care group, Mia, says that my mother tends to forget stuff like whether or not she took her medicines, so it might be a good idea to have someone there. Thus, I agreed. There was a period when my dad was in the hospital last year, when my mother stopped taking all of her medications because she was so upset that she simply forgot to take them, and she became very ill.

What I am doing is therapeutic indeed. I thought I was done with the posts about my dad, but the trip to the garage the other day brought this up.

Dark Shadow, same with me as I mentioned. My dad would try to catch trout or bass, while I would roam the shores hiking and fishing mostly for panfish. I hope your dad will still go fishing with you. Actually, one of the first signs that something was going wrong with my dad, from my perspective, was when he stopped going fishing. I would ask him, but he never felt like going anymore. This was in 2007, according to the license I found pinned to his main creel. Fortunately, I had another main fishing partner by then, my wife, and some fishing pal friends. But my father was my original fishing pal, mentor, and teacher. Actually, my mother used to like fishing too, but she turned away from it when she started feeling sorry for the stocker trout being caught just after being put into the water.

[Natural Lefty]

Trail Blazer, I often try to catch people off guard, so I consider that a big compliment. Clearly, I did my job well.

Joshua, I spoke at the memorial, and have posted several things elsewhere about my father, including a bunch of his poems on Facebook, but then this came up, and it's something I had to do. I am normally calm, but can be emotionally intense internally. I tear up a lot at times, so I know what you mean. I have taught myself to be calm when dealing with the public such as the students I teach, but a lot is going on inside of me. I think I only spent a couple of days working on the eulogy, but I had been thinking about it from time to time for years as my dad deteriorated.

That's amazing, Devore Flyer. I have a somewhat similar story. I made friends with a young lad at Perris Lake about 15 years ago. His name was Giovanni. Well, we fell out of touch, but a few years ago, I heard a young man in the parking lot of the school where I teach, call my name, "Robert!" Believe it or not, it was a grown up Giovanni, who still recognized me immediately, as I recognized him. He was in his early 20s by this time, had gotten married and had a little daughter. His wife was going to school there so he was dropping her off and picking her up. I spoke with him several times over the next few months of that spring semester, but never went fishing with him again. The next spring, his wife Jasmine was in one of my classes. One day, she said that she had something difficult to tell me. She told me that Giovanni had died of hypertension that past summer (even though he was thin). She said he was 24 years old when he died.

After that, I caught fish every time I went to Perris Lake, which is a lot, for a period of over two years. I often thought that the spirit of Giovanni was with me when I fished there. It seemed as though I had the force with me, whatever it was, and I thought Giovanni. I finally had my string of success at Perris stopped in recent months, but then my father passed. Maybe a new string of fishing success is to follow. I can't say I always catch a fish on the first cast, though.

I would like to be cremated after I go, as would my wife, and have our ashes spread in some beautiful place, such as the Sierras, or at least, under our nice Silver Dollar Eucalyptus tree.

[MikesOcean]

Excellent read!

I could totally relate! I lost my my mother when I was 10 and she was 37. She lost her battle with breast cancer at a very young age. All I have is my father and I try to cherish every moment I have with him.

So sorry for your loss! Enjoy the great memories you had with your father.

Those memories are PRICELESS!

[Joshua]

You are a teacher, I knew I was picking up something with your proper grammar and use of punctuation.
My father passed when I was 12. Most of my memories of him revolve around hunting and fishing. This is how we reconnect despite his physical absense. I am sure my desire to hunt/fish is rooted in my early experiences with my father. Thank you for sharing your memory. I think we all have someone special that took us fishing at some point. You have reaffirmed my philosophy about taking my kids fishing. At some point I will be gone, but my kids (and nephews) can reconnect each time they cast a line. I dont know if my spirit will be able to land a fish on the first cast like your old man, but I will do my best. I have told my daughter and nephews were they can find me, once I pass. I have spent many hours driving north on 395, right as the sun starts to brighten the sky from behind the mountains to the East (about 5 AM). That is where they can find me. So on your next trip up the 395 in the early morning, you are going to look to the East. Spirits like beautiful sunrises as well.
I have one old Mitchell rod that belonged to my dad that needs some attention. You have inspired me to bring it back into the rotation. I was always worried that I would break it.



Trail Blazer, I often try to catch people off guard, so I consider that a big compliment. Clearly, I did my job well.

Joshua, I spoke at the memorial, and have posted several things elsewhere about my father, including a bunch of his poems on Facebook, but then this came up, and it's something I had to do. I am normally calm, but can be emotionally intense internally. I tear up a lot at times, so I know what you mean. I have taught myself to be calm when dealing with the public such as the students I teach, but a lot is going on inside of me. I think I only spent a couple of days working on the eulogy, but I had been thinking about it from time to time for years as my dad deteriorated.

That's amazing, Devore Flyer. I have a somewhat similar story. I made friends with a young lad at Perris Lake about 15 years ago. His name was Giovanni. Well, we fell out of touch, but a few years ago, I heard a young man in the parking lot of the school where I teach, call my name, "Robert!" Believe it or not, it was a grown up Giovanni, who still recognized me immediately, as I recognized him. He was in his early 20s by this time, had gotten married and had a little daughter. His wife was going to school there so he was dropping her off and picking her up. I spoke with him several times over the next few months of that spring semester, but never went fishing with him again. The next spring, his wife Jasmine was in one of my classes. One day, she said that she had something difficult to tell me. She told me that Giovanni had died of hypertension that past summer (even though he was thin). She said he was 24 years old when he died.

After that, I caught fish every time I went to Perris Lake, which is a lot, for a period of over two years. I often thought that the spirit of Giovanni was with me when I fished there. It seemed as though I had the force with me, whatever it was, and I thought Giovanni. I finally had my string of success at Perris stopped in recent months, but then my father passed. Maybe a new string of fishing success is to follow. I can't say I always catch a fish on the first cast, though.

I would like to be cremated after I go, as would my wife, and have our ashes spread in some beautiful place, such as the Sierras, or at least, under our nice Silver Dollar Eucalyptus tree.

[seal]

The last couple of years were kind of haunting for me, Seal, as my father became very invalid. He had 24/7 care in his home for the last year or so, which was extremely expensive. My mother, who is fairly healthy, wants someone there 24 hours per day, too, so the expense has not diminished that much. The head of the health care group, Mia, says that my mother tends to forget stuff like whether or not she took her medicines, so it might be a good idea to have someone there. Thus, I agreed. There was a period when my dad was in the hospital last year, when my mother stopped taking all of her medications because she was so upset that she simply forgot to take them, and she became very ill.

What I am doing is therapeutic indeed. I thought I was done with the posts about my dad, but the trip to the garage the other day brought this up.

Dark Shadow, same with me as I mentioned. My dad would try to catch trout or bass, while I would roam the shores hiking and fishing mostly for panfish. I hope your dad will still go fishing with you. Actually, one of the first signs that something was going wrong with my dad, from my perspective, was when he stopped going fishing. I would ask him, but he never felt like going anymore. This was in 2007, according to the license I found pinned to his main creel. Fortunately, I had another main fishing partner by then, my wife, and some fishing pal friends. But my father was my original fishing pal, mentor, and teacher. Actually, my mother used to like fishing too, but she turned away from it when she started feeling sorry for the stocker trout being caught just after being put into the water.

I work with the elderly, the medication issues are common and one of the reasons I moved to take care of my Mom 8 years ago, she was 94 when she passed. With modern medicine extending our lifespans comes with a lot of issues. I was lucky Mom's brain held in there till the end for the most part, especially for being 94. But I see it all the time when the elderley do not have a child or other caregiver there for them, it's sad because they really need someone watching over them to notice any degredation in physical or mental capabilities. With more and more of the baby boomer population getting older there are going to be significant issues with care. Most people as they get older could really use an advocate to help them thru the health care system. It's difficult to determine when to let nature take it's course when modern medicine is capable of extending the natural lifespan significantly, eventually you know when the end is near but getting to that point can be very difficult for a caregiver.

[casting call]

Naturallefty, get this.. My stepdad gave me his minivan just before he passed away, and Ive made it my daily driver, even got rid of my other car because I did not want to part ways with his minivan. Last week i got into an accident and the car is no longer drivable. I called the junk yard to take it away from my garage.

So this morning, I was cleaning it out of personal affects before they come and tow it away. I found things in there that I did know were there. There was an anniversary card stashed away in the glove box that he never give to my mom, a new dimmer switch that he had mentioned to me that I needed to replace the bad one with, little notes that he wrote down on one of their weekend getaways.
Memories, im glad for them.

[Natural Lefty]

Mike's Ocean, I am glad that at least your father is still with us. When I was a teenager, we lived next door to a couple from Germany. The wife, Briggette, smoked, got lung cancer, and died around the age of 35, close to your mother's age. They had a daughter who was aboiut 8 years old at the time, close to your age when your mother passed. I wasn't interested in smoking anyway -- no one in my family smokes -- but that certainly made me aware that smoking was a bad idea.

Joshua, I am a psychology professor, in fact. One of my grandfathers was an english professor at USC, one of my uncles was a botany professor at Eastern Tennessee State University, and both of my grandmothers were grade school teachers. My maternal grandmother -- the one with the english professor husband -- was a high school english teacher in fact. Thanks for the compliment on my writing style and grammar. I do have a lot of practice at writing as I write quite a bit nearly everyday. That's Devore Flyer who catches a fish on the first cast every time he goes to his dad's special place, not me. But I do plan to take some of my dad's poles with me this afternoon to Perris Lake, where I am meeting my friend Juanmore951 to have a fishing outing, so we shall see how it goes. This will be my first time using my father's equipment.

Seal, I totally agree with you about the health care issues. As it is, this is going to be extremely draining emotionally for many people, as well as financially, as loved ones age. We are fortunate that my parents have a lot of money and a big pension to pay for all of this health care. What Mia told me made sense, so I didn't complain. My mother frequently changes her mind recently, and forgets what she said a while earlier. She told me that she only wanted someone there for about 10 hours per day during the daytime, but quickly changed her mind when talking to Mia and agreed to have someone there 24 hours. My mother's 84th brithday was on Tuesday, by the way. Since I am very trusted and live near my parents' house, my wife Eunice and I were appointed within my family to keep a watch on my parents and visit them frequently. Thus, we have been going over there once or twice per week for the past year or so, and are on very close terms with the caregivers.

Here is a secret. Mia revealed that my father had liver cancer for the last 1 1/2 years of his life, and knew it, but kept that hidden from family members. Mia's exact words were that he wanted to "let nature take its course" which is a phrase you mentioned. By the time he was diagnosed, he was in poor condition, so I suppose he felt that treatment would not be worth it.

Casting Call, sorry to hear about your minivan accident, but at least you found treasure therein as a result, and just this morning, at that. Little momentos always help.

[teejay]

Robert, The next time I catch a “pinky trout” at the Wood, I’ll tip my hat to honor your dad.

[Socal Bassman]

Sorry for your loss. Our prayers go out to you and your family. Great post and a very touching writeup on memories of your father.

[Natural Lefty]

Did I mention about "pinky trout" at Silverwood, Tom? My, you seem to have a good memory. Thanks. My dad used to outfish me on those, probably because I was fishing for panfish most of the time.

Thank you, Socal Bassman. I have been posting about my dad for a while now, so I think he would be pleased.