Sex or Fish?

[Troutin Man]

So my friend is going through a tough time with his wife. I do not really have an answer for him so I told him I'd turn to FNN pros! I'm sure many of you...so have I...gone through a spat or two with the spouse over the topic of "fishing".

My friend has gone through a few big ones. He is addicted like most of us to fishing. He tries to go once a month or two.

He was home for two weeks on vacation spending time with his family and was helping his wife since an accident. He went back to work stressed out cuz he had no time to himself (fishing). He worked one day and decided to take a day off next Tuesday to go fishing with me. He told his wife and she lost it. She told him, "I need you home and you want to go fish! That is bullshit!" He has days from comp time and he wanted to use one. She told him that he should take days to spend it with her since she can't work right now (for two more weeks) and not go to the mountains to catch damn fish!

He has had spats in the past cuz he has gone to fish and tries also when he camps. Wife has now gave him an ultimatum...stop fishing and get your mind off it or no more sex...or even divorce.

So he is stuck. He gets sex once a week or two weeks (much more than me...lucky devil). He asked me..."Do I give up fishing, sex, marriage?" If he gives up fishing, he will resent her. If he fishes, she will leave him or at least not have sex. By the way...she is pretty hot.

What would you guys do?

[fishindude]

Oh damn. It's either catching the fish of a lifetime or weekly sex with a hot woman. You don't need sex to live, but fishing memories are more enjoyable than 20 minutes of bedroom acrobatics.

[cutbait]

Its not the womans fault, its your friends fault.

Hes alllowing her to run his life. Ain't no woman worth marriage if she acts that way. His biggest mistake was ever letting her pull that BS from the gate.

If my wife held sex over my head as a motivation to control me? First thing Id do is go fishing and stop by the liqour store for some playboys cause I ain't giving her the satisfaction. If she continued to pull that crap, either her or I would be out the door permantly.

In closing, its your pals fault he let's her getaway with it. Tell him to man up.

Married people do not treat the other as poorly as this woman is with her blackmail BS

Sex in a marriage shouldn't be defined as once a week. Should be upon request of either spouse.

If you have a woman that turns her nose up or throws you a bone on a certain time frame or as payment for good behavior in serving her wishes then its your fault for allowing her to control your life and for ever marrying her in the first place..

I have a great wife, however I am divorced and wife 1 was a real Biotch and pulled that same BS your friends wife is.

Glad she did because after the divorce she taught me a lesson about real women and how not to settle with the just anyone. I found a great woman

[Marley]

And people ask me why I'm single.

[fishead]

Cutbait is rite gata agree with cutbait.

[pcuser]

Never thought I would agree with cutbait, but he's absolutely right. I guess hell has frozen over.:LOL:

[seal]

And people ask me why I'm single.

x2 with emphasis!

She's an idiot. Taking a man away from his passion makes him unhappy and an ahole to be around, she's her own worse enemy. I feel sorry for him but Cutbait is right it's still his fault for caving in. Funny women will sometimes be totally cool and allow you to do your thing UNTIL they get that noose around your finger (ring) then your screwed (and not the sex type of screwed).

I did my 10 years of hell and limited fishing (bad choice probably like your friend) no way will that happen to me again!

[HawgZWylde]

I guess I'm a lucky man. My wife encourages me to fish. She knows what a stress reliever fishing is. But, after years of marriage, 5 kids, and 3 grandkids, sex, while still occurring, and still real good, isn't that big a deal. Indeed, my wife I'm told by many, is a "trophy wife".

Cutbait is absolutely correct, your friends wife has issues. They need a real marriage counselor...

[DEVOREFLYER]

Well to a real fisherman there are only two things in his life "Fishing and Sex". If it is not in that order then he is not a real fisherman. I am waiting for the verdict to come in.:Argument:

[casting call]

So he is stuck. He gets sex once a week or two weeks (much more than me...lucky devil). He asked me..."Do I give up fishing, sex, marriage?" If he gives up fishing, he will resent her. If he fishes, she will leave him or at least not have sex. By the way...she is pretty hot.

What would you guys do?
I say give up the marriage, so he still gets sex and goes fishing! lol
Seriously though, I agree with all thats posted here, but has your buddy ever tried to get her to go fishing with her? Id say thats a last resort because your buddy, in part, seems to like going fishing for the solitude (away from wifey).

Meh, tell him there are more fish in the sea... pun intended.

[MarkyMark]

Hawgz and Cutbait summed it up nicely..(married to the same woman for 29 years)

MM

[EfrenM]

Well to a real fisherman there are only two things in his life "Fishing and Sex". If it is not in that order then he is not a real fisherman. I am waiting for the verdict to come in.:Argument:
:Worship: FISHING AND SEX THATS THE WAY IT IS!!

[WARRIORMIKE]

I personally think shes bluffing. My wife always tries to threaten me with that s**t. Have him enjoy is life with fishing and his wife. Maybe even at the same time.

Before I met my wife I told her I fish a lot. I also told her that if she didn't like it to leave now or stay for the ride. We have been together for 13 years now. I am the man!

Just tell your buddy as long as he stay away from the strip clubs, drugs, and any other crazy addiction hes better off fishing

[vortec_cruiser]

If there's no children involved, then it's an easy call. But if there are children, then it's very tough.

[trail blazer]

If there's no children involved, then it's an easy call. But if there are children, then it's very tough.

Children matter the most,,,,,,,,,,,,,,with that being said c/bait is spot on,,,,,,,,,draw the line and go fishing ,,using tact on when to go and how he aproaches it,,,,,,,,,if she leaves for that then she wasn,t going to be worth a flip anyway.

BOTTOM LINE IS,,,,,,,,MAN UP,,gracefully,,,,,,for the<if there are any> kids sake.

That way if it goes saouth NO REGRETS for him!

T/B

[Troutin Man]

I told my friend what u all have said and he wishes he could do what you recommended...but he has 2 kids and his wife right now needs someone with her for another 2 weeks since accident. He would love to go fish Tuesday with me, but he doesn't want to leave her behind since we'll be 2 hours away. I told him to ask her dad to be at the house Tuesday, but he knows taking a day off to fish will piss her off.

Any rebuttals? I will show my buddy tomorrow morning at work so he can then decide.

No matter what, I'm still heading up to catch me some trout and crappies! Power to the fisherman!

[Marley]

What type of injury are we talking about? If she's immobile and requires his assistance to do most things then part of manning up is to take care of his wife (that whole "sickness and health" thing.) But it sounds to me like she drove him crazy and needs to let him have a break. Sounds like maybe there's a second side to this...

[cutbait]

So my friend is going through a tough time with his wife. I do not really have an answer for him so I told him I'd turn to FNN pros! I'm sure many of you...so have I...gone through a spat or two with the spouse over the topic of "fishing".

My friend has gone through a few big ones. He is addicted like most of us to fishing. He tries to go once a month or two.

He was home for two weeks on vacation spending time with his family and was helping his wife since an accident. He went back to work stressed out cuz he had no time to himself (fishing). He worked one day and decided to take a day off next Tuesday to go fishing with me. He told his wife and she lost it. She told him, "I need you home and you want to go fish! That is bullshit!" He has days from comp time and he wanted to use one. She told him that he should take days to spend it with her since she can't work right now (for two more weeks) and not go to the mountains to catch damn fish!

He has had spats in the past cuz he has gone to fish and tries also when he camps. Wife has now gave him an ultimatum...stop fishing and get your mind off it or no more sex...or even divorce.

So he is stuck. He gets sex once a week or two weeks (much more than me...lucky devil). He asked me..."Do I give up fishing, sex, marriage?" If he gives up fishing, he will resent her. If he fishes, she will leave him or at least not have sex. By the way...she is pretty hot.

What would you guys do?


The 2 week of no fishing for injury healing time is valid, but its the "GIVE UP FISHING.... or no nookie or divorce?"


Any spouse with that mentality is divorce material.. PERIOD

Hawgspoint is valid, your pal should go through counseling since kids are involved, however just having "kids" cannot make a marriage work, sometimes its best to divorce.

I was divorced with two boys. I have them now and the whole time. Single dad for years.. Boys certainly suffered not having a mother in the house.. {vacination shots to be specific} but you can't tell them there not better off not having a fighting mother and father like they had?

Though counseling and every attempt should be made.

NOW BETWEEN COUNSELING and NOW???? tell him to go fishing and not to rush home. One of those 24 hr trips.. and when he gets home try to get some nookie.. When she balks at the attempt, get up like its no big deal and open up one of those playboys right infront of her and when she gets upset. He needs to tell her he has needs and his wife either doesn't fullfil them or she uses it as a tool to control him and he has reached a point that his needs will be met with her assistance or not.

Sure you think this is over the top, and is meant solely to piss her off. Your right, but a real man won't have his dreams and needs held hostage over stupid behavior....

Something tells me she learned this from her mother and her dad was a big push over, or its the Ray Romano culture from TV.. You know how every dad is a big idiot who does nothing right in the household and MOM fixes everything.. From Tool time Taylor, to Ray Romano, to George Lopez... Dads in Hollywood are bafoons if you watch TV shows.. Enough of the rant on TV...

Shhesh could just be that its she just has the "hottie" attitude.. You know what I'm talking about.. The hotties act like their doing you a favor and the Fatties appreciate it.. Even make ya cookies afterward..

Like the saying goes... Fatties and mopeds' are fun to ride...... just don't let your friends catch ya on one

[reelgurlzfish]

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WwRrKaq0IyY

[trail blazer]

The 2 week of no fishing for injury healing time is valid, but its the "GIVE UP FISHING.... or no nookie or divorce?"


Any spouse with that mentality is divorce material.. PERIOD

Hawgspoint is valid, your pal should go through counseling since kids are involved, however just having "kids" cannot make a marriage work, sometimes its best to divorce.

I was divorced with two boys. I have them now and the whole time. Single dad for years.. Boys certainly suffered not having a mother in the house.. {vacination shots to be specific} but you can't tell them there not better off not having a fighting mother and father like they had?

Though counseling and every attempt should be made.

NOW BETWEEN COUNSELING and NOW???? tell him to go fishing and not to rush home. One of those 24 hr trips.. and when he gets home try to get some nookie.. When she balks at the attempt, get up like its no big deal and open up one of those playboys right infront of her and when she gets upset. He needs to tell her he has needs and his wife either doesn't fullfil them or she uses it as a tool to control him and he has reached a point that his needs will be met with her assistance or not.

Sure you think this is over the top, and is meant solely to piss her off. Your right, but a real man won't have his dreams and needs held hostage over stupid behavior....

Something tells me she learned this from her mother and her dad was a big push over, or its the Ray Romano culture from TV.. You know how every dad is a big idiot who does nothing right in the household and MOM fixes everything.. From Tool time Taylor, to Ray Romano, to George Lopez... Dads in Hollywood are bafoons if you watch TV shows.. Enough of the rant on TV...

Shhesh could just be that its she just has the "hottie" attitude.. You know what I'm talking about.. The hotties act like their doing you a favor and the Fatties appreciate it.. Even make ya cookies afterward..

Like the saying goes... Fatties and mopeds' are fun to ride...... just don't let your friends catch ya on one




BLAMMMMMMMMM!!!!



CUTBAIT in a friend of mine,,,,yes ,,i know him.


T/B

[Troutin Man]

Love the playboy idea. I think I might try that one myself! Haha! She does have that hottie attitude because I will admit...she is pretty damn hot. And he's kind of a slob.

Her accident was done to her teeth and jaw when she fell and cannot eat food. Everything is liquid, blended, etc. So she's lost even more weight. I think it's more the emotional support she needs. But he's been with her every day for the last two weeks!!!

I have a feeling that he will not go, but I will let you all know tomorrow. I will make sure he reads every post...I'm sure he will get a kick ot of Cutbaits comments.

[ZipperWurm]

i agree with whats been said by others....depending on the extent of her injuries, if she can't function without him being there, then he should stay....but if she'll be fine without him for a day, then its BS that shes trying to control him and give him ultimatums. im not one to brag, but i've dated some pretty hot chicks and they do have this mentality that if you dont do as they say they will just walk and find some other swinging d!#k in a heartbeat...which is sometimes true, but thats not a girl you wanna be with if thats the case. others will try to pull that crap and you call their bluff, they will cave eventually....its almost like spoiled children, their looks have given them there way with men and they are spoiled by it, lol. if she truly loves him she needs to realize men have their needs too...he might have to pull a brad paisley, lol.

i myself haven't been married yet, but the girl that i do marry will not interfere with my hobbies, i will be sure of that before i lock it in. i might not have as much time for them as i do now, but i will always have them. either the girl will come fishing with me (which i guess ive been lucky cuz they all seem to like tagging along) or she will be required to be naked with a fresh sammich ready for me when i get back from the lake :Envious:

[angelsfan951]

can we get a pic of the wife to see how hot she is???

[ZipperWurm]

can we get a pic of the wife to see how hot she is???

+1...we need to get a visual on what we are actually dealing with here...

[OC ANGLER]

sounds like she's a biotch and he needs to grow a sack ! sorry for the bluntness

if she can complain over something so simple as her man wanting to go fish then she needs to be put in check ... there are many other worse things i could think of he could be doing ...

good luck to your buddy .....

[DockRat]

He needs to 'MAN UP'

http://i988.photobucket.com/albums/af10/bullsballs_com/Customers%20Rigs/01dodgeballs.jpg

[seal]

Love the playboy idea. I think I might try that one myself! Haha! She does have that hottie attitude because I will admit...she is pretty damn hot. And he's kind of a slob.

Her accident was done to her teeth and jaw when she fell and cannot eat food. Everything is liquid, blended, etc. So she's lost even more weight. I think it's more the emotional support she needs. But he's been with her every day for the last two weeks!!!

I have a feeling that he will not go, but I will let you all know tomorrow. I will make sure he reads every post...I'm sure he will get a kick ot of Cutbaits comments.

Well with her jaw all jacked up what good would she be in the sack anyhow?

Sorry somebody had to say it....

[minijoser]

I want you and your friend to go on you tube and watch and listen to this song by Brad paisley- I'm gonna miss her, even if you dont like country music still a great song. I fish every sunday and my lady can't say or do anything about it and if she try's i'll play this song and I'm gone

[fish_sauce]

I found myself in a similar predicament a few years back. The girl i was dating was drop-dead gorgeous, but she became a completely controlling freak. When we first started dating, she was fine with me allocating my time to go fishing, but after a few months, she gave me the ultimatum--to choose between fishing or her. It didn't take me long to come to my senses and reach a decision. I realized that being with someone who would not allow me to do the things I enjoy would pretty much suffocate me and change the person that I am...So I chose to be free instead of being chained.

However, if there are kids involved, i think your buddy should take more time to think it over. Ending a marriage is not like ending a simple relationship; kids cannot choose who their parents are; therefore, parents must make certain sacrifices to secure the well-being of the family unit---even if it means not being able to do the things he enjoys---such as spending time with a buddy fishing. There are certain privileges we give up to become parents, and i figure this is one of them.

One of my closest friend and fishing buddy gave up his hobby for years to care for his ill wife---she was battling cancer, and he went from fishing three or four times a week to practically zero for three straight years. When i talk to him about it, he responds with a resounding affirmation that the time he spends to care for her is more precious than anything else--and he wouldn't give it up for anything!

Everyone's circumstance is different. Your buddy will ultimately have to decide for himself what he thinks is best--and realize that he will have to bear the consequences and responsibilities himself...so choose wisely!

Andrew

[LuckyCraft420]

Go fishing and move on from the women that he can't share his passions with. If she wants to prevent him from being happy, then why bother staying around..? And it doesn't matter what she looks like, there are a lot more gorgeous girls out there. She really wants to cut him off from sex? Is she still a teenager...? If my girl said that I would laugh at her, and find another sex partner

[reelgurlzfish]

I want you and your friend to go on you tube and watch and listen to this song by Brad paisley- I'm gonna miss her, even if you dont like country music still a great song. I fish every sunday and my lady can't say or do anything about it and if she try's i'll play this song and I'm gone
lol you will see i posted a link to that song before your post :-P about page 2 or 3 lol

[HawgStalker]

I have to agree with cutbait and HawgZWylde as well. I told my wife on our first date I need 2 things if we're going to last.... fishing and football! Sex comes with the territory as far as we're both concerned! Maybe I just got lucky also but my wife has never given me grief about either. At the same time, if she wants to go out with the girls and have cocktails and see a movie such as "Magic Mike" or one of those sappy love stories, then of course she can!

So my response to your buddy would be, "He should have made it clear to her". Now if he did and she "changed" thats a whole other story! I do hope they find a way to work it out though.... Good Luck!!

[fishinone]

Its not the womans fault, its your friends fault.

Hes alllowing her to run his life. Ain't no woman worth marriage if she acts that way. His biggest mistake was ever letting her pull that BS from the gate.

If my wife held sex over my head as a motivation to control me? First thing Id do is go fishing and stop by the liqour store for some playboys cause I ain't giving her the satisfaction. If she continued to pull that crap, either her or I would be out the door permantly.

In closing, its your pals fault he let's her getaway with it. Tell him to man up.

Married people do not treat the other as poorly as this woman is with her blackmail BS

Sex in a marriage shouldn't be defined as once a week. Should be upon request of either spouse.

If you have a woman that turns her nose up or throws you a bone on a certain time frame or as payment for good behavior in serving her wishes then its your fault for allowing her to control your life and for ever marrying her in the first place..

I have a great wife, however I am divorced and wife 1 was a real Biotch and pulled that same BS your friends wife is.

Glad she did because after the divorce she taught me a lesson about real women and how not to settle with the just anyone. I found a great woman

There is some very insightful advice here.

She needs to hold him in just as high esteem as he holds her.

I put my wife on a pedestal but we stand there together.

It won't work for both partners to be in love with the same person, unless that Person is Jesus Christ.

[Voice-of-Reason]

I sometimes have sex while I'm fishing. Now that's the ultimate wife! Best of both worlds. She's jiggin my worm while I'm making her squirm :Big Grin:

[The Fishing Queen]

Well, I normally don't reply to posts on general discussions. But, after I ran into this one and read it, I think I should share my two cents here. Please don't feel offended, or think it's an attack on any of you. I'm not pointing fingers at anyone here or judging anybody on their personal opinions. I'm just here to express my thoughts and share my ideas with everyone also.

Most of you guys here think the wife is over-controlling her husband and threatening him with her words. Some of you advise him to 'man up' and show her your man power. And, if she still behaves the same, then he should just leave her......But I see that this woman had an accident and has a broken jaw. She can only eat liquid food. She is suffering both emotional and physical pain right now. She must feel miserably inside and out. She must look awful and probably feels very insecure about herself. She wants her husband by her side to support her emotionally and take care of her physically. There is nothing wrong with that. When someone gets hurt, he or she will become more emotionally sensitive and weaker than normal. He or she might act like a child in pain and whine for attention from their loved one. Especially females. We are emotional beings and have more emotional needs than males. She feels the need to have him around and she must feel that he is choosing his own pleasure (fishing) over her needs. Her self-esteem has been hurt and her security was threatened..... Imagine if your kid got hurt and was in a lot of pain and asked you to stay home with her, would you leave her to go fishing? Probably not! I believe that's how she feels right now and that's why she’s acting like a foolish child instead of talking to him about her thoughts or needs and asking for his support nicely. Sometimes, when a person fears to lose a loved one, he or she will act crazy - like they want to be in control. Maybe he or she thinks they won't lose the loved one if they have him or her in their control. This is a love obsession and it happens a lot in love relationships. It's not a healthy way to express love and that's why it always delivers a wrong message to the other partner.

It's easy to walk out of any marriage if there is any problem or disagreement involved. That's why so many people have second, third or even forth marriages. But a marriage relationship is not disposable material – if you don't like it, just throw it away, then go find another one. Sometimes people intensely focus on the problems and are confused by them. When you stand too close and look at anything (or any problem), it looks much bigger than it should be. But, if you take a few steps back, then maybe you will see the bigger picture and find a way to solve your problem. Most problems are based on some small, stupid issue and can be worked out and moved on from easily, instead of being stuck in a corner and fought over with each other. A marriage relationship should be managed by two people. They should work together on their problems, especially when there are children in their life. The children are always the real victims of divorce and they suffer more pain than the grown-ups in the divorce situation. They were never asked if they wanted to come to this world, we made that decision for them, so their happiness is our responsibility....... His wife made a wrong choice and she shouldn't threaten him like that. But, I think your friend should be a man, a man with bigger heart. He should forgive his wife's attitude because of her health condition, have a good talk with his wife and work out the problem between them. Maybe they can work out something in the future, like she go shopping with her girlfriend one day, and he can go out fishing with him buddy another day. But right now, if she needs him by her side, he should give up his fishing and stay with her, taking care of her. Maybe two weeks later, when she feels better and doesn't need his care anymore she will reward him to go out and fish. If a man stays to support his wife and take good care of her through the hard times, a good woman will always appreciate him, love him, and devoted herself to him for the rest of her life.

A marriage is like a well matched pair of good shoes and feet, only the feet know how comfortable the shoes fit. No one can really give advice to others on solving someone else’s problems, only they can do that.....

[cutbait]

Queen with all due respect you didn't read the OG post.

Your points of not fishing during the injury rehab are valid and everyone suggests consideration but OG says he is lucky to go once or twice a month.. Which leads everyone to assume it started well before the injury.

Now even you make a comment about "maybe in two weeks she will reward him with a fishing trip"..... UMMM? No spouse should "reward" for good behavior... That's my point from the get go here.

You also suggest trading fishing for shopping with the girls?

If she wants to go shopping then go shopping

If he wants to go fishing he goes fishing...

All this "deal making" spouses make in marriages are stupid IMO....

I agree with the remainder of your post for the most part..

[Thisfool]

hmmm interesting.

i agree with both fishing queen and cutbait.

[smokehound]

My advice is to stay out of other people's business.

You don't know the whole story or you're actually the man in question.

Either way your words are untrustable. For all we know, he (or you) has used fishing as a cover-up.

If my wife was hot I wouldn't leave her to hold a rod. Lol

[The Fishing Queen]

Queen with all due respect you didn't read the OG post.

Your points of not fishing during the injury rehab are valid and everyone suggests consideration but OG says he is lucky to go once or twice a month.. Which leads everyone to assume it started well before the injury.

Now even you make a comment about "maybe in two weeks she will reward him with a fishing trip"..... UMMM? No spouse should "reward" for good behavior... That's my point from the get go here.

You also suggest trading fishing for shopping with the girls?

If she wants to go shopping then go shopping

If he wants to go fishing he goes fishing...

All this "deal making" spouses make in marriages are stupid IMO....

I agree with the remainder of your post for the most part..




Cutbait, I did read the entire post and everyone's replies, I know her injury might be better. I can only imagine what tragedy she must have been through. Sometimes a person might recover physically, but her emotional pain takes time to heal. She still needs his emotional support even though her body has recovered during this time.

I read post and understood that they had this kind of problem before and not just now with her injury. I understood the situation that this couple had a fishing problem and that's why I suggested they work things out by talking to each other in general. Sometimes good communication can solve a problem if they can find an understanding between them. I do mention very often about her injury, because this is the time when she is in need of him most. There is a difference between now and then, back then she might have behaved over-controlling towards her husband. They should have had many talks to work out the problem. But, this time she gave him a big threat about divorce. Based on her condition now, the husband should give her a little more understanding.

About the word "rewarding":

A good loving relationship is rewarding to both partners. I'm using the word "rewarding" as a big appreciation and honor to her spouse because of what he's done. Not like you think, as some word picked out of context, like a payment for a service. Now be honest, we all love to be rewarded - whatever it is, from your boss, or teacher, or your spouse. The reward is a way to show appreciation for the hard work and honor the person who has done it. I think every good behavior needs to be noticed and rewarded. That's just how human beings brain’s works. For example, you can reward your kids, your spouse or your friends with nice words, a thank you card, your love or with an action like a gift or flowers. The person who received the nice words, or the gift, or the flowers would feel rewarded with the appreciation.

About the deal making:

We all know that marriage is more than just deal making, but the deal making I'm talking about it's not a threat or a trade. It's a way to set a plan to have better understanding between two people. I use 'she go shopping, he go fishing' as an example of how to fairly work the problem out. If a woman goes shopping once in a while, then she should know that her husband should have fun and go fishing, just like her taking time off for shopping. They both should respect each other's space. Everyone should have fun and be equal. No one should control the other party because we are equally independent individuals. I think the only way to solve the problem between two parties is to calm down, lay out the problems and have an open heart, honest talk. To "man up" would only escalate the anger and push the problem to another level.

Funny how you think the deal making was a stupid idea in a relationship. You may hate it because it didn't work for you. But this might work great for another couple in a relationship. Remember, all of us only have limited hours in a day, or on the weekends. We all have kids and families to take care of besides just shopping or fishing. Because of the limited time that we have, we should plan better. If each spouse just did whatever they wished and desired, then no one would plan to do chores. We have to work with our spouse and set a plan for either a 'fun day' or a 'chore day'.

Marriage is like a dance, it takes two to tango. I can proudly to say that my spouse and I have done a lot of 'deal making' throughout our marriage. We both plan and work things out equally. Even after so many years of being together, it still works great that way. And by the way, this is the first marriage for both of us.

[GhettoBasster]

My advice is to stay out of other people's business.

You don't know the whole story or you're actually the man in question.

Either way your words are untrustable. For all we know, he (or you) has used fishing as a cover-up.

If my wife was hot I wouldn't leave her to hold a rod. Lol



LOL. Smoke, I hope you're not married because if you are, you've just implied that your wifey isn't hot.
However, "if you want to be happy for the rest of your life....."

[trail blazer]

O,K ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Read it all,,,,,,,,,,,,,,great discussion by all,,,,,,,,quality stuff for a change.

SO im going to add my other 2cents,,,,,,,

He,s obviously been <THE LESSER SPOKEN> member of this relationship since its beginnings,,,,,not bashing just calling it like i see it,,,,,,,,FISHING is not the problem,,,,,,.

MAN UP,,,,,,,,,,JMO

[bass413]

I think they BOTH need to look at the bigger picture. He needs to stay home with her until she’s healed up enough to take care of herself and she should REALLY want him to go fishing as much as he wants. A good wife should want to make her husband happy while a good husband should want to make his wife happy. If they both made each other their #1 priority, they really shouldn’t have these problems. Of course “should” rarely works in today's world....

This dilemma reminds of a story I heard once....


One beautiful Sunday morning, a guy gets up early and heads to the lake. He has that feeling like it’s going to be a GREAT day on the water. Sure enough, he arrives to the lake, launches the boat, runs to his first location and on the first cast BAM.... a beautiful 5 pounder.

After releasing the fish, he makes a few more casts then BAM....a 7 pounder. Then a DD...and another 7, then an 8 pounder. What an INCREDIBLE morning of fishing he thinks.

As he continues hauling the toads, his cell phone rings. It’s a nurse from the local hospital. The nurse explains that the man’s wife has been involved in a terrible car accident and that she doesn’t appear to have much time left. The nurse tells the man the quickest way to get to the hospital and ends the conversation with “the doctor believes your wife may die. You need to drop what your doing and get here RIGHT NOW!”

The man hangs up the phone and begins to weigh his options. Simply, does he leave the trophy fish that have been so willing to bite to rush to the hospital to be by his wife who “may” be dying?

The man decides to fish for just 5 more minutes. He makes another cast and BAM, 12 pounder....then another 8 and another 5, then another 8 and a 9 pounder...UNBELIEVABLE he thinks. He glances down at his watch and is surprised to see that 3 hours have passed since the nurse’s phone call.

Reluctantly, the man stows his gear, makes the run to the launch ramp then to the hospital. Once he arrives, he finds his wife’s doctor and and asks how she’s doing. The doctor, with an obvious pissed off look on his face, states the man’s wife is in TERRIBLE shape. The doctor screams that he KNOWS his nurse called the man over three hours ago telling him to get to the hospital NOW. The doctor tells the man he hopes that morning of fishing was worth it because his wife will need around the clock attention for the rest of her life. She will not be able to feed herself, wash herself, NOTHING!! He will now have to wait on her around the clock until the day she dies!!!

The man stands there stoically for a few seconds then tells the doctor, “I can’t believe it. I am so sorry I didn’t get here sooner. Is she in any pain now?”

The doctor puts his arm around the man and says, “Nah I’m kidding. She died about 3 hours ago.....what’d you catch?

[cutbait]

Perhaps calling deal making stupid was in error...

Should of been worded differently because my intention was not to insult.

[cutbait]

O,K ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Read it all,,,,,,,,,,,,,,great discussion by all,,,,,,,,quality stuff for a change.

SO im going to add my other 2cents,,,,,,,

He,s obviously been <THE LESSER SPOKEN> member of this relationship since its beginnings,,,,,not bashing just calling it like i see it,,,,,,,,FISHING is not the problem,,,,,,.

MAN UP,,,,,,,,,,JMO

But she has needs and emotional distress TB? Its been years and years of agony for her.. If he would only understand her better

Sorry Queen,, just havin fun

[The Fishing Queen]

It's ok, cutbait. I didn't take it as an insult at all. This is just a discussion, that's all!

[cutbait]

That joke reminds me of the one I heard about Tom, Dick and Harry golfin...


Tom, Dick and Harry were playing 18 Saturday morning,,,,,, When on the tenth tee a hearse drives by with a big ole persession behind... Tom takes his hat off and covers his heart and stands silently for the entire persession to pass....

Shocked, Dick and Harry tell Tom how surprised they were and didn't realize Tom had that much respect for others...




Tom says,,,, Well HELL, I was married to her for 35 years

[WARRIORMIKE]

tell him to man up. otherwise hes going to end up like this guy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vy72jannBo4

[Troutin Man]

My friend wants me to thank you all for your input! Chris and I got off the phone just a bit ago. He has been reading the posts and was amazed at this discussion. He appreciates the different perspectives and told me that he will be staying home with his wife tomorrow.

I know this may disappoint many of you, but he states that his way of manning up is taking emotional and physical care of his wife...after much thought and keeping his kids in mind. I asked him if fishing was any part of the discussion and he said that they discussed it a little bit. What that means...I do not know...but he said it went fairly well and he may fish again one day!

I will talk to him more about it later I guess. But I am now prepped and heading out to BBL early in the morning. Will hit the west side of the lake! Great luck to all!

[casting call]

tell him to man up. otherwise hes going to end up like this guy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vy72jannBo4

I was waiting for his new girlfriend to pop up into the camera... but it never happened. SMH, this guy really needs to turn in his mancard.:Nut Kick:

[cutbait]

P
tell him to man up. otherwise hes going to end up like this guy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vy72jannBo4


My lord that guy is a pu$$y....


No wonder she left him...


Off topic.. you guys really need to learn how to utilize the video links in the replies tool box... Its the strip of film. 2nd from the end. Click on it and insert the video URL

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vy72jannBo4

[fishead]

I couldn't watch that whole video its boring and he's weak for making it what a punk.

[flyhigh123]

There can only be one driver in a marriage in most instances. She is and has been driving the boat and it seems he has been following her rules. Yes there is compromise, but at the end of the day she wears the pants and that's how that relationship will be. It's hard to change the dymnamics of a relationship.

[ZipperWurm]

tell him to man up. otherwise hes going to end up like this guy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vy72jannBo4

i guess its a good thing they got back together.....i can see that guy killing himself and taking her with him, lol

[JL]

I am going to assume no one will read this post since i am posting 2 months after the fact. I read 10 of the previous posts so forgive me if I repeat something that one of the other 48 posts already suggested.

Let me qualify myself to respond. Married 46 years. 8 children 17 grandchildren with 3 more on the way. And we fish 1- 2 times per week every week.
And let me also share one disclaimer...... My wife also loves to fish and takes the sport seriously.

Marriage, sex or any other part of the relationship should NOT be a bargaining chip for either of you to participate in another activity.

First of all it is very clear that you both need to share your issues with a Pastor or Counselor. Yes she needs care and loving when she is healing or needs to communicate with you as her husband. You also need time to get away and relieve the stress of working to support your family. It would be ideal if she would take an interest in fishing with you but since apparently she won't i would suggest you make a counter offer to do something for her after work or on your days off that would be special to her. And be up front with her that you would like to set some times on the calendar or in a notebook on how you both can share the time you need to each do what is important to your personal well being. For her it may be time with her at home. for you it is time to go fishing

I hope by now you are not divorced. I would also suggest here that if you do not have any relationship with a Church community---that you seek out a local bible believing church and go together to worship. Maybe they have services on Saturday night and Sunday. Maybe you would find an a couple that the wife has similar interests to your wife and would be willing to stop by for a visit to help her and give you some time to get away.

Sex should never be used as a tool to motivate results by either of you. Sex is the most beautiful gift from God given to humans and should be treated as special by both the husband and wife. Sex should alway be separated from all other parts of the relationship and be enjoyed by both without "terms" hanging over the participation by both of you.

Do i walk away from my wife sometimes not understanding why she disagrees with me? OF course. Does she sometimes think I am nuts and turns away with disgust. Sure.......... HOWEVER NEVER does that get into our sex lives.

You will probably laugh at this post because if you add up the years i mentioned in the opening of my post you will see that both my wife and i are over 65 ----- and for the record......yes we do have an active fun sexual relationship today...... Why??? because sex has always been fun for both of us and we don't want to change that because of some other stress in our lives.

I do wish you both happiness and if you have tried everything ----but not prayer....... try it .... it works.

God Bless

[HawgZWylde]

I am going to assume no one will read this post since i am posting 2 months after the fact. I read 10 of the previous posts so forgive me if I repeat something that one of the other 48 posts already suggested.

Let me qualify myself to respond. Married 46 years. 8 children 17 grandchildren with 3 more on the way. And we fish 1- 2 times per week every week.
And let me also share one disclaimer...... My wife also loves to fish and takes the sport seriously.

Marriage, sex or any other part of the relationship should NOT be a bargaining chip for either of you to participate in another activity.

First of all it is very clear that you both need to share your issues with a Pastor or Counselor. Yes she needs care and loving when she is healing or needs to communicate with you as her husband. You also need time to get away and relieve the stress of working to support your family. It would be ideal if she would take an interest in fishing with you but since apparently she won't i would suggest you make a counter offer to do something for her after work or on your days off that would be special to her. And be up front with her that you would like to set some times on the calendar or in a notebook on how you both can share the time you need to each do what is important to your personal well being. For her it may be time with her at home. for you it is time to go fishing

I hope by now you are not divorced. I would also suggest here that if you do not have any relationship with a Church community---that you seek out a local bible believing church and go together to worship. Maybe they have services on Saturday night and Sunday. Maybe you would find an a couple that the wife has similar interests to your wife and would be willing to stop by for a visit to help her and give you some time to get away.

Sex should never be used as a tool to motivate results by either of you. Sex is the most beautiful gift from God given to humans and should be treated as special by both the husband and wife. Sex should alway be separated from all other parts of the relationship and be enjoyed by both without "terms" hanging over the participation by both of you.

Do i walk away from my wife sometimes not understanding why she disagrees with me? OF course. Does she sometimes think I am nuts and turns away with disgust. Sure.......... HOWEVER NEVER does that get into our sex lives.

You will probably laugh at this post because if you add up the years i mentioned in the opening of my post you will see that both my wife and i are over 65 ----- and for the record......yes we do have an active fun sexual relationship today...... Why??? because sex has always been fun for both of us and we don't want to change that because of some other stress in our lives.

I do wish you both happiness and if you have tried everything ----but not prayer....... try it .... it works.

God Bless

I read it and think it is an awesome post. Nicely done JL. A marriage based on sex, is no marriage at all. Congrats to you and your wife on a very successful, and meaningful marriage...

[CL SmooV]

I am going to assume no one will read this post since i am posting 2 months after the fact. I read 10 of the previous posts so forgive me if I repeat something that one of the other 48 posts already suggested.

Let me qualify myself to respond. Married 46 years. 8 children 17 grandchildren with 3 more on the way. And we fish 1- 2 times per week every week.
And let me also share one disclaimer...... My wife also loves to fish and takes the sport seriously.

Marriage, sex or any other part of the relationship should NOT be a bargaining chip for either of you to participate in another activity.

First of all it is very clear that you both need to share your issues with a Pastor or Counselor. Yes she needs care and loving when she is healing or needs to communicate with you as her husband. You also need time to get away and relieve the stress of working to support your family. It would be ideal if she would take an interest in fishing with you but since apparently she won't i would suggest you make a counter offer to do something for her after work or on your days off that would be special to her. And be up front with her that you would like to set some times on the calendar or in a notebook on how you both can share the time you need to each do what is important to your personal well being. For her it may be time with her at home. for you it is time to go fishing

I hope by now you are not divorced. I would also suggest here that if you do not have any relationship with a Church community---that you seek out a local bible believing church and go together to worship. Maybe they have services on Saturday night and Sunday. Maybe you would find an a couple that the wife has similar interests to your wife and would be willing to stop by for a visit to help her and give you some time to get away.

Sex should never be used as a tool to motivate results by either of you. Sex is the most beautiful gift from God given to humans and should be treated as special by both the husband and wife. Sex should alway be separated from all other parts of the relationship and be enjoyed by both without "terms" hanging over the participation by both of you.

Do i walk away from my wife sometimes not understanding why she disagrees with me? OF course. Does she sometimes think I am nuts and turns away with disgust. Sure.......... HOWEVER NEVER does that get into our sex lives.

You will probably laugh at this post because if you add up the years i mentioned in the opening of my post you will see that both my wife and i are over 65 ----- and for the record......yes we do have an active fun sexual relationship today...... Why??? because sex has always been fun for both of us and we don't want to change that because of some other stress in our lives.

I do wish you both happiness and if you have tried everything ----but not prayer....... try it .... it works.

God Bless

JL,

Your response was dead on. Highly inspiring for a guy like me who has recently wed.

[DEVOREFLYER]

JL,
My wife and I have 47 years together under our belt and your post nails it. Do we have disagreements, of course, who doesn't. We each have our own hobbies and we each have our own space. We also enjoy the company of each other doing many things together. She does not have the passion for fishing that I do but enjoys fishing with me when the weather is to her liking and we don't leave at O Dark Thirty to fish. Oh and restrooms and a place to eat must be included in the planning. Going hunting or shooting with me, not a chance on your life, but I feel the same way about going to a sewing or quilting activity with her. It's all about compromise and balance. Marriage is a life sentence, oops I ment a life commitment.:Big Grin:

[HawgZWylde]

JL,

Your response was dead on. Highly inspiring for a guy like me who has recently wed.

Congratulations CL!!

[Jamesbryantoeng]

Got the best solution!!!

tell your friend to give his wife a good lesson on bed.

For me I once had a girlfriend that tells me fishing was like a jinx to her because of her religion beliefs.

she ******* dumped me later on and i've never felt so happy from an breakup, I could finally wet those ******* lines baby!

[Troutin Man]

Just want to remind all that this was not about me...it was my friend wanting some advice from FNN pros and I wanting to here your opinions.

As for me, it's all good. Wife sent me away today to go fish since I was a bit stressed from work and it was a day off. My wife is all good!

I will post report...

[HawgZWylde]

Just want to remind all that this was not about me...it was my friend wanting some advice from FNN pros and I wanting to here your opinions.

As for me, it's all good. Wife sent me away today to go fish since I was a bit stressed from work and it was a day off. My wife is all good!

I will post report...

My wife is the same way. I get to go at least once a week, sometimes 3...

[Troutin Man]

Wow! That is awesome. I thought I was a lucky man...but wow! 3 times per week? I guess when I retire and live by a lake or river, I will fish 3 times per week. But for now, I need money and fishing does not do that for me...not even close. Actually, fishin' costs some money boys!

[larry626]

Okay since I read the whole thread, I might as well add my input..hehe. This isn't really about fishing or any one thing in particular. It's more about a wife feeling her man's inconsiderate and a husband picking the wrong time to enjoy himself while his wife is suffering from an injury that requires two more weeks of healing. After staying home for two weeks already to care for the wife, it doesn't really make sense to take a day off to go fishing. The signal you're giving your wife is that you need a break from her. (You probably do need one but you have to learn how to be more subtle than that). I know some would disagree but you're better off just telling her you're going to work and take the day off to go fishing if you really need to go that bad! Your likelihood of getting caught is like nil, unless you open your mouth. But in all honesty you made the right decision to stick with her until she heals up. No one wants to see their spouse enjoying themselves, especially when they need their help just to eat right at home.

Oh to improve your chances of fishing more in the future, get your two Kids involved. I have two boys that I plan on fishing with quite often. And the wife can either join us or go do something else.

Hot women only have powers over us when we give it to them. So if you don't give them the power, they won't have it. Oh keep in mind, chicks crave sex too.